Anger is normal and even reasonable at times.  During a “normal” divorce someone is very hurt and both are grieving.  Anger is a normal part of the grieving process of a human.  God designed us that way!  Dreams and hopes have been shattered.  Trust is broken.  Ugly words have been exchanged.  The actions taken by my spouse (or ex) were wrong and hurt me.  My reactions to these actions are feelings of anger, hatred, fear, or revenge.  These emotions usually come out the same way - “I want to break something”!

Even Jesus got angry.  He was extremely upset when the people desecrated the temple area (Matthew 21:12-14).  However, He did not hurt them and did not hate them, only their actions.  God gets angry at the actions of wicked people as shown in Romans 1:18 (NKJV) “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, “

If I try to pretend everything is OK I will soon explode.  That will do much more harm than good and hurt myself and my family even more.

Proverbs 14:29 (NKJV) “He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly.”

As soon as I know what is triggering this anger I can work to avoid it.  I’ve got to protect those “hot buttons” or someone will get burned!  If certain thoughts keep coming back I MUST replace them with something more pleasant.

Philippians 4:8 (NKJV) “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.”

So if I just openly admit I am angry it will go away?  Not so easily.  I will allow myself to deal with these feelings in a more controlled manner rather than exploding.

Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV) “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Maybe I just need to tell them why I am so upset and make it personal.  This gives them an opportunity to resolve it but also gives me a chance to release a burden in a more calm and loving way.

Do something which takes a lot of energy.  Go for a run or heavy workout in the gym.  Wash and wax the car, several times.  Mow the grass (by hand).  Write a long letter explaining the feelings and then burn it.

Redirect the energy as a worthwhile service project to someone in need, like raking leaves for a shut in or doing the laundry for a sick friend.

Whatever it takes, I must get my mind off the offence and into my emotional healing. I will take care of myself spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Realize it is my choice

Remember the source of my strength

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